by kelligarms | Mar 20, 2017 | Book Review
In order for me to be with a great woman, I was gonna have to learn to be a great man first.
Rory Feek’s book This Life I Live is, simply put, a love story. But it is not only his love story with his wife Joey but also his love story with God. Before reading this book, I didn’t know much about Joey and Rory. I had seen a few episodes of Can You Duet?, and articles had crossed my Facebook page during Joey’s battle with cancer. That was all I knew when I picked up the book. However, knowing the end made each chapter more impacting as the story developed.
The conversational style of the writing made it feel like I was sitting across from Rory, laughing and crying with him. Each chapter can stand alone and is easy to read even though he tackles very difficult topics throughout the book. He doesn’t shy away from discussing his past mistakes and how they have made him the man he is. He bravely embraces topics of raising his older daughters alone, watching his wife battle cancer, and facing raising their daughter alone, as well. He confronts the issues of salvation, tithing, family, sex, repentance, and the list goes on. And he takes responsibility for the choices he made, never laying blame at someone else’s feet. He is gracious to those around him who have made mistakes, and often reminds the reader that we are all doing the best we can with what we have.
I am me because of me. No one else. My decisions brought me here, good or bad.
To look at him today, I never would have guessed at Rory’s childhood and the choices he made in his past. Rory’s story of redemption is powerful! It is a good reminder that, no matter what I’ve done or who I’ve been, I am never so lost that God can’t save me. His experiences with repentance, confession, and forgiveness brought me to tears.
Yes, I have been forgiven greatly. Many times over. And so I must forgive greatly and trust that God has a greater plan in store than the one that I can see.
The characters in Rory’s life made an impact on me, as well. From his difficult relationship with his parents to his lovable Uncle Goombah to the woman who changed his life forever, the people who invested in him helped bring him to where he is today, both personally and professionally.
My wife understood that there are things you cannot put a price on, and there’s a huge difference between time wasted and time spent.
Rory’s descriptions of Joey are loving and tender. He describes her in terms of her grace, dignity, passion, and love. I so wish I had followed their story more closely while she was on this earth! As the tears blurred the words on the final pages, I thought about how Joey felt as a new mother, knowing that her daughter would grow up without her mother and that Rory would have to raise another daughter alone. As I struggled through those emotions, I was reminded of Rory’s words:
We must turn the page and trust that the story He is telling is bigger than that one page or that one chapter.
by kelligarms | Mar 17, 2017 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
I’ve been reluctant to post this blog for several reasons. First, it will not be complete. No matter how long it is or how much I say, it will not be the end of the journey where the proof is in the pudding. Second, there are so many opinions about weight loss and healthy living I’m afraid this will just get lost in the cacophony of ideas. I’m also reluctant because I have not arrived. I am in no way setting myself up as an example to follow because I am still learning to practice what I know is truth when it comes to health and diet.
In the previous blog post, we talked about our bodies being a gift from God, which He formed and knitted together while we were still in the womb. Our response to God’s gift should be one of gratitude and awe. Unfortunately, our response is usually one of criticism and disdain for our bodies. If I can learn to see my body in light of the gift and purpose God has given me, I can change my attitude toward the “imperfections” I see when I look in the mirror.
Although my body is a gift from God, once I become His child, my body no longer belongs to me. Romans 12:1 tells me that I am to present my body as a living sacrifice. First Corinthians 6:19-20 tells me that my body is not mine because it is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and, as a result, I am to glorify God with my body.
When I think about the sacrifices offered to God in the Old Testament, I am reminded that the Israelites were commanded to offer their best. They were to choose a lamb without spot or blemish. It couldn’t be lame. It had to be perfect. The final sacrifice was Jesus Christ. A perfect, spotless, sinless lamb Who took on the sin of the world so I might become a child of God. If these are my examples of sacrifices that are acceptable to God, then I must conclude that offering my body as a living sacrifice cannot be an afterthought. I can’t offer God the leftovers of my body. I must take care of my body in order to make it an acceptable sacrifice.
But if my body isn’t perfect, can I still offer it as a living sacrifice to God? The fact is that God is more concerned about the condition of my heart than the condition of my body. In 1 Samuel 16:7, God tells Samuel to not look on the outward appearance when choosing the next king of Israel because “the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” When I read these words, a breathe a sigh of relief. My body doesn’t have to be perfect.
What I have come to understand is that taking care of my body is actually a heart issue. Food is an addiction like no other. We can be addicted to eating it, and we can be addicted to avoiding it. Either way, unlike an addiction to drugs, alcohol, caffeine, etc., we can’t live without it. We must eat. Food can become a stronghold in my life if I don’t surrender it to God. When Satan tempted Eve, he did it with food, and she gave in to the temptation. When Satan tempted Christ in the wilderness, he also used food as his first temptation and moved on to other things when Christ didn’t surrender to the food. I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve been tempted with food and gave in so Satan didn’t have to move on to the next temptation. I have made it so easy for him!
Galatians 5:16 says, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Eating chocolate is definitely a desire of the flesh for me. The same book, same chapter, goes on to list the fruit of the Spirit in verses 22-23. One of those fruits is self-control. This fruit carries the idea of discipline and perseverance. We are disciplined about things we view as important, but being disciplined about something doesn’t mean it takes over your life or becomes an idol in your life. I am disciplined about brushing my teeth every morning and every night, but it doesn’t control my life. Although diet and exercise can easily become idols in my life, if I’m continually surrendering them to God and presenting my body as a living sacrifice, I believe my efforts will be rewarded with a closer walk with Him.
In Lysa TerKuerst’s book Made to Crave, she talks about tying your happy to Jesus. Your happy can’t be tied to the number on the scale or the size of your jeans. If your happy is tied to Jesus, then it won’t be moved by your circumstances because Jesus never changes.
For a more thorough discussion on this topic, I recommend you read Made to Crave.
by kelligarms | Dec 28, 2016 | Book Review
I didn’t want happiness at the expense of holiness. I wanted happiness as a part of being a human created to ‘glorify God and enjoy Him forever.’
Have you ever felt guilty because, in spite of all the blessings in your life, you still were not happy? Jennifer Dukes Lee addresses the reasons for our happiness and unhappiness in her new book The Happiness Dare.
We have all heard it said that God does not want us to be happy; He wants us to be holy. This carries the connotation that, if we are happy, then we must not be holy. Lee challenges this idea because while God does want us to be holy, He also intends for us to be happy. Happiness and holiness are not mutually exclusive. She addresses the many ways God rejoices in our happiness and encourages us to look for God, not only in hard and painful times, but also in the pleasures of life. Although we tend to turn to God in our times of pain, He is as present in our pleasures. We simply need to look for Him.
When our happiness increases in manifold, God-honoring ways, we are not being selfish or sinful. The happier we are, the more we are becoming like our Savior.
Lee presents the idea that God created each of us with our own individual happiness style. This happiness style gives us our happiness sweet spot where “earthly pleasure, heavenly joy, and our unique wiring intersect.” While some of us get great joy out of thinking, planning, or reflecting, others of us experience pleasure in a job well done or a selfless act of service. My happiness style, for example, is “thinker,” and my secondary style is “relater.” I primarily like to learn and think and come up with new ideas, but then I like to tell people what I’m learning and share my ideas with others. I also have a smattering of “experiencer,” “doer,” and “giver,” in that order. Do you love to teach? Do you love to serve others by donating your time or your talents? Do you love planning family vacations? Could you spend hours watching your children play at the park? With guidance and practical tools, Lee walks us through discovering our happiness sweet spots and experiencing them to the fullest.
In embracing the gifts, we honor the Giver, because he is the one who gave them.
Lee goes on to address the “happiness hijackers” in our day-to-day lives and gives us strategies to combat them in simple and practical ways. As we take small steps to fight the hindrances to our happiness and to embrace our happiness sweet spots, we will not only gain happiness in our lives, but also grow closer to being the people God created us to be. And the happiness we will experience is not the fake-it-till-you-make-it kind of happiness but true, unhindered happiness which shines for all to see and rubs off on those around us.
It’s true what they say about candles–they lose nothing by lighting another candle. They only add to the light, in a world that feels so dark.
A few days before I read The Happiness Dare, a friend and I were laughing as we discussed our love of cake and the idea that in heaven we will eat cake every day! This made Lee’s final metaphor especially appealing to me. I encourage you to read Lee’s book. Whether you are naturally happy, are afraid to be happy, or do not know how to be happy, The Happiness Dare has something to offer you.
Happiness can be like venom to the enemy of your soul.
by kelligarms | Jun 19, 2016 | Family
Update: My dad passed into glory on August 2, 2017, just shy of his 70th birthday. He is whole again and in the presence of his Savior.
My Dad, David Lingo, is one of my heroes of the faith.
He and my mom raised me and my two sisters not only in a Christian home, but also in a missionary home. All three of us were saved at a young age and participated in the ministry. My parents were adamant God had not called them to the field, He had called all of us. As a result, I never felt like being a missionary kid deprived me of anything. They also instilled in us we are missionaries no matter where we are. So, when we returned to the U.S. for a year-long furlough, we were still to be telling others about Jesus.
God called us off of the mission field when He opened the door for my parents to become professors in the Missions Department at Baptist Bible College. They spent 20 years sharing their vision and the biblical foundation for missions with countless students. “The God of the Old Testament is a missionary God,” is a statement they all remember well. Although my dad was a missionary kid himself and has always had a desire to go back to the field, he understood he could do more for the cause of Christ by training hundreds of people to go than if he went himself.
During the time he spent teaching at BBC, he became the pastor of a rural church after their pastor was killed in a tragic accident. Through the church, my parents were able to extend their reach by training young couples headed into ministry. Their heart has always been to train and send for the cause of Christ.
About five years ago, everything changed.
As a result of several traumatic events in his life, my dad suffered a brain injury. The medical professionals have called it a “stroke-like event.” His official diagnosis, which is supported by the symptoms we have seen, is Dementia. This brain disease has caused him to lose his ability to communicate and to interact with the present world. Although he speaks, sometimes in English and sometimes in Spanish, his words are jumbled and rarely make a coherent thought. Many days he believes himself to be a young man or a child still on the mission field with his parents. Several times he has grieved the passing of his dad over again because he doesn’t remember it happened.
One thing that has not changed is his tenderness toward the Gospel. Many times he has made himself understood when he is burdened for the lost and dying world. He makes sure those around him have heard the truth of Scripture. He cries tears of happiness when he thinks of all the missionaries serving Christ today. My dad spent his life in the business of communicating the love of Christ, and, although he has lost that ability, his burden for the lost is still so evident.
My sister reminded me today of 2 Corinthians 4:17 “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (ESV). We pray daily for God to heal my dad, and we pray believing that He will. It may not be on this earth, but my daddy will be healed someday. In the meantime, I’m grateful to get to share his legacy with you.
Please pray for our family as we face the daily battles of this situation, and especially pray for my mom as the wedding vows she took 48 years ago, “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health,” are present with her every day. She has lost her spouse, her companion, her best friend, and her leader. He is physically present, but gone in every other way.
Are you facing a “light affliction” today?
Have you lost hope in your situation? Remember your life is only a “mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14, ESV). And when this life ends, we will have eternity to spend in the perfect presence of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. I challenge you to live with the end in mind and stay the course. God will reward your faithfulness.
by kelligarms | Jun 15, 2016 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move; when You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through; when You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You; I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You — Lauren Daigle
When you beg God for healing, for financial relief, for a spouse, for children, for direction in your life, and He doesn’t answer by giving you what you desire, do you turn away from Him or do you trust in Him? What if your desires pale in comparison to His plans for you?
I challenge you to patiently wait on Him, trusting that His plans are far superior to anything you could ever imagine!
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Ephesians 3:20-21 (NKJV) Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
