by Kelli Garms | Nov 29, 2019 | Family, Women's Ministry
One of my goals for 2020 is to stop trying to multitask. The truth is true multitasking is a myth, and when we try to do it, we can cause brain damage. Let me explain.
Your mind can only focus on one thing at a time. You can only “multitask” when only one of the things you are doing requires focus. For example, it is possible to fold laundry while watching TV or listen to a podcast while applying your makeup. However, if you drop that eyeliner, you stop listening to the podcast and shift your focus to the makeup. If you can’t find the matching sock, you take your focus off of the TV show to look for it.
The problem occurs when I try to do too many things that actually require my focus, like watching a video while I play a computer game and text my group chat. Then I’m not actually multitasking, but instead, I am quickly shifting my focus from one thing to another and back again. This causes a loss of attention span and can ultimately damage your brain.
But it is difficult to step away from multitasking when there are so many things on my to-do list!
Here are a few things I have discovered as I have tried to cut multitasking out (and don’t think for a moment that I have been 100% successful):
✔️ I am actually more productive when I focus completely on one thing at a time. I’m faster at tasks that used to take me FOREVER to accomplish.
✔️ I notice more moments that are right in front of me. This allows for spontaneous memory building with my kids.
✔️ I even enjoy my meals more when I focus on what I’m eating instead of watching a video or listening to a book while I eat. This, in turn, keeps me from snacking so much throughout my afternoon. #nonscalevictory
✔️ Content that I consume, whether it’s a podcast, a book, a video, or a training, stays with me because I’m fully present. This allows me to make connections between the many different things I’m consuming on a weekly basis.
✔️ Even though I seem to be getting more done, I feel like my life is slowing down a bit, which is something I find myself longing for in this season of life.
So in 2020, I will strive to kiss multitasking good-bye! Will you join me? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
P.S. If you’d like to learn more about how the mind works and how to align it with Scripture, check out my course, Captive Thoughts. It might be just the thing you’ve been looking for!
by Kelli Garms | Nov 8, 2019 | Family, Women's Ministry
I’m kind of nerdy, so I love research. I’ve been spending a lot of time these days researching the brain, and I’ve discovered something fun!
Did you know that daydreaming is good for your brain? It’s true! When you allow your mind to wander, you are using your brain the way it is supposed to be used. You can follow thoughts to their logical conclusions, veer off on rabbit trails, or focus on something you’re processing.
When our bodies are tired, they need to rest, and this often involves sleep or lack of movement. But our minds get tired when we don’t use them. They rest in activity.
Have you ever noticed on days when you sit in front of the TV all day, you are more tired? It is because your mind is bored. So when you think, you are actually resting your mind. God’s ingenuity amazes me!
Let’s daydream today and every day!
by Kelli Garms | Oct 25, 2019 | Family, Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
Do you wish your husband was more spiritual? We are at a unique time in our history where, as women, we have access to so many tools to improve our personal walk with the Lord. Unfortunately, sometimes it can lead us to frustration with our husbands if we don’t see them tapping into resources like we are. Here are some things to remember:
- Your expectations for your husband’s spiritual walk aren’t necessarily God’s expectations for him. God doesn’t love us more because of what we do or don’t do. Our spending time with Him is for our benefit; as we spend time in His Word and in prayer, we fall deeper in love with Him, but it doesn’t change His love for us.
- Your husband doesn’t answer to you. He is a grown man who makes his own decisions. Dropping hints, nagging him, or trying to manipulate him into a closer walk with the Lord will very likely have the opposite effect.
- Celebrate the “little things” when you see God working in his life. Is he faithful to church? Does he listen to podcasts or watch youtube videos that discuss spiritual things? Is he a godly father to your children? Ask God to open your eyes to the things He is doing in your husband’s life.
- Most importantly, pray. Pray for your husband, but also pray for yourself. Pray that God would soften your heart, open your eyes, and convict your spirit when things get frustrating. Pray for your husband’s protection, the guarding of his heart, and the shielding of his eyes from everything the enemy is throwing at him.
Remember that your personal walk with the Lord is just that—personal. Your husband’s walk with the Lord is also personal. Wait and watch as God does a marvelous work in you both!
by Kelli Garms | Sep 13, 2019 | Bible Study, Family, Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
In last week’s post, I talked about submission in 1 Peter 2 & 3. Lest you think submitting to your husband makes you inferior to him, I wanted to continue in that passage today.
Peter includes only one verse that speaks directly to husbands, but it sure packs a punch! Let’s look at 1 Peter 3:7:
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Am I right to assume reading that verse got your hackles up?? There are several things in this verse that can rub us the wrong way, but let’s unpack it a bit. I think you’ll find it becomes a comfort to you.
When Peter commands husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way, the idea is to do life together. This isn’t describing a domineering husband with a floor mat of a wife. Doing life together implies a partnership, and partnership implies equality.
The term translated “weaker” in reference to the woman is speaking of physical strength. Whatever you may believe about gender roles, you can’t deny that physical strength lies on the side of the man. This is not a slight to women, however, who are natural nurturers and care givers.
Peter specifically references the equality in God’s eyes when he tells husbands that their wives are “heirs with you of the grace of life.” We can’t be co heirs if we are not equals.
You can submit to authority and still be equal in importance. Christ is not inferior to God, yet He submits to God’s will.
Although you can’t control how your husband responds to you, submitting to your husband is a strong testament to your faith in God.
by Kelli Garms | Sep 6, 2019 | Bible Study, Family, Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
I recently went through a study of 1 Peter 2 & 3, and a portion of these chapters talks about submission. In the midst of discussing submitting to the government and employers, Peter reminds us that wives should submit to their husbands.
Can I be honest and tell you this has always been a struggle for me? In reality, I don’t just struggle with submitting to my husband; I struggle with submitting to any authority. And I don’t think I’m alone. My mom tells a story about my sister who was refusing to sit down. Once she finally obeyed, she spouted, “I may be sitting on the outside, but on the inside, I’m still standing!”
What I discovered in my study is that submission to my husband has nothing to do with my husband. It isn’t something he earns like a reward for good behavior, and it isn’t something he loses because he didn’t meet my expectations.
My submission to my husband has everything to do with my relationship with God! It is trusting that God will work in and through my husband for the benefit of our family and our community. In fact, Peter speaks of a wife’s submission as a means for her husband to walk closer with God. The other side of that coin is if I don’t submit to my husband, I could hinder his walk with the Lord!
I don’t know about you, but it might take me a minute to digest this one! Though it will continue to be a struggle for me, I pray the Holy Spirit brings this passage to mind each time I start to rebel. Can I pray for you, too?
I love how Scripture gives us the tools we need to renew our minds and become more Christ-like!
by Kelli Garms | Aug 23, 2019 | Family, Women's Ministry
Ever since I read Frank Peretti’s book Piercing the Darkness, I will admit I have struggled with yoga and meditation. I have never really done yoga as a result, but the Bible commands us to meditate. However, when Scripture talks about meditation, it is very different than how I see others teaching it.
Meditation is usually taught in a way that encourages you to clear your mind of everything. Accomplishing this is quite the feat. Have you ever tried to clear your mind of everything? The only way I have been able to get anywhere near it is by thinking of a large black wall. Go ahead, try it, I’ll wait…
I’ve been doing quite a bit of research into neuroscience, and one thing I have been able to decipher is that the brain rests in activity, not in inactivity. Let me explain. When you are sleeping, your brain is actually working harder than it did all day! When you are deliberately thinking about something, you actually slow your brain down.
Unlike your body, your mind gets tired when it is bored. Have you ever noticed when you spend all day vegging out on the couch binge watching Netflix, you go to bed exhausted? It is because your brain is bored.
What’s really interesting is the Bible supports this. When Scripture tells us to meditate, it has nothing to do with clearing our minds of every thought. Instead, we are commanded to meditate on His Word. We are to think about, process, and digest Scripture. We are to take our thoughts captive and process them through the lens of the Bible.
So if you want to meditate the biblical way, you need to read your Bible and then think about what you read.
Here are some questions to think through:
- What did that passage teach you about God?
- Did it point out a sin, a promise, a life principle, etc.?
- How should it change you?
- When are you going to follow through?
If you would like a worksheet to help you process this, you can download my free Bible study workbook and/or join the Bible Study Academy.
