Beauty Trumps Pretty Hands Down

by Kelli Garms | May 8, 2020 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry

Is your confidence rooted in your appearance? Do you find that your mood is better when you’re having a “good hair day”? Or maybe your worst days are when you step on the scale? My beautiful friend and colleague, Tammy Hickey, describes how we can flip the script and put our focus where it belongs. Here are her words:

My heart sank as I walked by the mirror.   Up until that moment, I had forgotten I didn’t have any hair.  I had been going about my day, doing what I do.  Working.  Creating. Editing. Sharing ideas.  Knocking things off my To Do List.  I felt good physically and had good energy.  It was a GOOD day!  Then …. I had my moment in the mirror.  I immediately lost my joy.  The fact that I had cancer came rushhhhhing back into my thoughts and my being.  BLECH.

Have you ever been there, friend?

Have you gone about your day, feeling good and feeling joyful, and then you walk by the mirror and BAM – your energy and joy is immediately sucked out of your body?

I know.  ME TOO.  Even without cancer.

We are so critical and so OVERLY aware of our bodies.  We place SO much value on what is happening on the outside that it can be all consuming.  It immediately dismisses or erases every single thing we have done, who we have served, who we ARE.  Don’t you hate that?  When our whole disposition goes down the tubes because we’ve don’t like our thighs, or we’ve put on a little weight, or our jeans don’t fit, or we feel like we look like a freak without hair.  You get the picture.

Why do we do that to ourselves, friend?  WHAT IS OUR DEAL?

Here is what I know for sure, friend.  We have been led astray.  The pressures of this world to be and look a certain way as crept into our BEING.  Maybe it was from a comment someone made to you back in 9th grade about ‘looking like a pig’ or maybe it was the way the other girls looked at you when you changed for gym class.  Or maybe it was the nickname of thunder thighs that your Dad (love you Dad!) gave you.  Perhaps it’s the way you ‘think’ your husband avoids caressing or holding onto your ‘fluffy’ areas when you are intimate or the look he gives you when you grab a bowl of ice cream before bed.   

Then add in the images we see all over social media, TV and print ads that over glamorizes what healthy and beautiful looks like.  The way our feeds have been overcome with botox injections, fake bushy eyebrows (what the heck is with that trend?) or have you seen the ads for the exercise equipment where the girl is running full speed UP HILL with perfect posture, a smile on her face and then dances when it’s done????  COME ON!!  Don’t even get me started with this year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show.

We take all of these images of what society tells us beautiful looks like and take that on as an expectation – a bar set that we can NEVER reach!  Because of that expectation, we look for evidence constantly of where we don’t measure up.  How we feel like our husbands are not attracted to us anymore because of how we look and we immediately create scenarios of how we see that to be true.  The hand placement.  The look he gives.  THEN WE GET MAD AT HIM.  Lord, have mercy.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)

Here is what I’m learning, friend – NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE REAL.  

The image of perfect body?  NOT REAL (as much as I commend J Lo – this is NOT the standard)

A perfectly shaped brow?  NOT REAL 

Running Uphill is easy and enjoyable?  DEFINITELY NOT REAL

We, as women, are made perfectly in HIS image.  He created us to be living, breathing beings in a body that is intended to help us fulfill the purpose He gave us.  The body itself is not to be praised.  What is to be praised is the real reason we are here – to fulfill His purpose on our life and to glorify HIM.  To radiate His love from the inside out.

End of story.

Let’s stop getting it wrong, shall we?  

Not to say that having a healthy body is not critical – it is!  Our body needs to be working WITH us and not against us, so it’s important that we take care of it.  Nurture it.  Treat it like the beautiful vessel that it is to help us fulfill our purpose.

But our bodies are not the point.

Perfect eyebrows are not the point.

Thin thighs and six pack abs are not the point.

Being able to run on mission for the glory of God is the point!

Friend – when we put Jesus first in our lives, we learn how to slowly turn the tide of what we view important and critical.  I won’t lie and say that I don’t struggle with the idea of being PRETTY by the world’s standards.  I still cringe at the size of my thighs and struggle with my baldness. BUT I’m learning how to fill my heart with more truths about what true beauty is all about.  

The condition of my heart.

The love I give to others.

The calling on my life that I’m fulfilling.

It is more important to me that the imprint I leave on this lifetime has more to do with the love of Jesus that radiates from my heart, then being another pretty face.

THAT to me is way more beautiful.  Wouldn’t ya say?  Who is IN with me?

xoxo

Tammy

mstammyhickey.com

How To Pray during this Crisis

by Kelli Garms | Mar 20, 2020 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry

As the date for this blog post was approaching, I struggled to know what to write. Our world has changed so much in the last week, and even I, who am not an anxious person by nature, can feel the tension in the air. I keep reminding myself that we have the most powerful weapon at our disposal: Prayer.

“The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16b)

I have been using the prayer journal from Val Marie Paper this year, so I’ve used it to make a plan of prayer during these uncertain times. If you’ve struggled to know how and what to pray, use this guide to get started. You don’t have to stick with it verbatim as the Holy Spirit will prompt you and bring things to mind throughout your prayer journey, but it is a starting point for your prayers.

The Challenge:

God is still on the throne! He knew this was coming and was not caught by surprise.

Our World & Nation: 

• The lost would turn to God
• Wisdom for our president and world leaders
• Healing of the infected
• Special grace for caregivers (both professional & family members)
• The economic stability of the country
• Military men and women who are in active service

My Community:

• My pastor and church leaders—wisdom, grace, patience, peace
• Schools and homeschool co-ops
• Parents who are unexpectedly home with their kids
• My neighbors
• My online community

My Loves (I use this category for my immediate family):

• My husband leading our family toward trusting in God; with wisdom; with compassion
• My children seeing us depend on God and not making decisions out of fear
• We would draw closer as a family during this time
• We would draw closer to God individually during this time

My Family (outside of my home):

• Health
• Safety at home, abroad, and during travel
• Draw closer to God
• Make decisions out of faith and not fear

Sweet Friends:

• Health
• Safety
• Wisdom

Personal (This list would be specific to you and your struggles):

• Surrender to God wholly
• Live in faith, not fear
• Encouraging and supportive wife
• Loving and compassionate mom

Other:

• Foster children who are in precarious situations
• Those who are quarantined in abusive homes
• Missionaries who are overseas
• Missionaries who are separated from children and family

I would like to close this blog post with a prayer and would be honored if you would join me.

Lord, these are unsettled times, and we are afraid. But You have told us that fear comes from the enemy because You gave us a spirit of love, power, and a sound mind. Give us the wisdom to lean into You instead of leaning into the things we are hearing all around us. Direct us to Your Word where we find Truth instead of to the news stations or social media where we find confusion. Give us that peace that confounds the world because they can’t understand it. And, Lord, above all, be glorified in what is happening and draw the lost that their lives may be changed forever as they surrender to Your authority. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

How To Recognize Distractions Disguised as Opportunities

by Kelli Garms | Mar 6, 2020 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry

“I am doing a great work and I cannot come down.” Nehemiah 6:3

I am a multi-passionate person. In fact, I can get passionate about almost anything you throw at me. My students are often shocked about my passion for grammar, of all things. This can be a stumbling block for me because I see opportunities all around me. Most of those opportunities are good, godly, productive opportunities I can easily justify. I have to be careful what I agree to do, or I will sacrifice the best things on the altar of the good things.

Over the last year, God has been working on me to walk away from the opportunities the enemy has used to distract me from the most important things. I realized I had built my life around things that were good but should not have been a priority. As a result, I had built walls instead of healing or building relationships. I had surrendered my authority in order to keep the peace. I had seen my children as a hindrance to my work instead of my most important work (though I never would have said that out loud).

How do we tell the difference between what is good and what is best? There are many books written on this subject, so I will not attempt to answer this question comprehensively. But there are things we don’t need to pray about or agonize over because Scripture clearly tells us what to do.

• You are God’s child, and He expects you to act like it. Your relationship with your Heavenly Father should never be sacrificed for your job, your workout, your vacation, your family.
• Only you can be your husband’s wife. If you are married at this time, God has given you a very clear role that only you can fill. It should be your priority.
• Only you can be your children’s momma. If you have children, young or grown, it is a divine assignment for only you. Do not mistake this divine assignment for a distraction.

Everything else in your life needs to be weighed against these three positions.

In our day-to-day grind, it can be difficult to discern what is best and what is urgent, and we often sacrifice the important for the urgent. We would do well to take the time to list everything on our plate and bring those things to the Lord, asking for wisdom. I have found when I’m thinking about stepping back from a commitment, God gives me peace or makes me restless. Restlessness means I’m headed in the wrong direction.

I’ll leave you with this reminder from Andy Stanley’s book Visioneering:

Don’t spend your time; invest it.

How To Defeat Overwhelm

by Kelli Garms | Feb 21, 2020 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry

I was recently reminded that overwhelm happens for one of two reasons:

1. You  are doing more than God asked you to do, or
2. You are trying to do it in your own strength.

The first step in defeating overwhelm is to figure out which one of these two things is causing it. Did He ask you to do everything you’re doing? Have you taken something on without asking Him about it? Did you commit to doing something because you were intimidated or afraid to say “no”? If you’re not sure, ask Him. He will gladly show you what is on your plate that He didn’t put there.

If you can unequivocally say He called you to everything you’re doing, then ask Him to give you the strength to complete the task. You can’t do it in your own strength, and He doesn’t want you to try. He wants to show you that, when you lean into Him, you’ll never run out of energy, focus, or desire to complete the task. He’s waiting to help you; just let Him.

Here’s the catch: you have to be willing to give up the things He didn’t ask you to do, and you have to relinquish control if He did call you to it. This is much easier said than done, but again, He will give you the wisdom and strength to do both if you ask Him.

Do You Get Ahead of God?

by Kelli Garms | Feb 14, 2020 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry

How long is too long to wait for God to fulfill His promise? It seems everywhere I turn in Scripture recently, I am reminded that God’s timing isn’t our timing.

• Sarah giving her maid to Abraham to help God fulfill His promise to make Abraham a mighty nation
• The Israelites making the golden calf because Moses was taking so long on the mountain
• Saul seeking out a medium so he could talk to Samuel and get direction
• and so many more

It’s easy to sit back and judge them, but how many times do I believe God has called me to something, so I must push ahead? When He’s taking longer than I think He should I start to wonder if I should be doing something, saying something, planning something. Because doing something is easier than doing nothing, than waiting.

Instead, I should trust that, if He called me to it, He will make it happen in His timing. I can trust Him for just the next step because my goal is to walk beside Him, not ahead of Him.