by Kelli Garms | Feb 19, 2019 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
August of 2017 was a hard month. That is when my dad passed away after battling Alzheimer’s. That disease tested our faith, tugged at our family bonds, and triggered hard questions.
In early September, we scheduled a cruise. I was looking forward to getting away from everything, relaxing, and returning refreshed. As soon as we stepped foot on that boat, we were notified of schedule changes due to a looming hurricane. Irma did impact our vacation by cutting our cruise short and stranding us for several extra days.
I tried very hard to stay positive and encourage my husband and kids, but I distinctly remember a moment when I looked up to the turbulent clouds, threw my hands up, and said, “Really, Lord?? You couldn’t give me this one little thing??”
You might be nodding right now, feeling my frustration, and agreeing with my outburst. But I can’t tell you how many times that memory has haunted me over the last couple of weeks as I studied Acts 16.
Paul and Silas were illegally seized, beaten, and thrown in prison. They were placed in the most secure part of the prison with their feet in stocks. They were sitting in a dirty room with open and bleeding wounds all over their backs, legs, and arms. I’m sure everything hurt.
They had been doing God’s work. They were imprisoned because Paul freed a slave girl from a demon. But when they were thrown in prison, they didn’t ask “Why, God?” Instead, they spent their time praying and singing praises to God for all the other prisoners to hear.
Acts shows us there was a purpose for their pain: the jailer and his whole family began their relationship with Christ that day.
I don’t know what you’re going through, and I don’t believe it is wrong to ask God why, but even if He doesn’t show you immediately, be encouraged by the fact that there is purpose for our pain.
by Kelli Garms | Feb 8, 2019 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
Michelle Myers spoke on this at the She Works His Way Narrow conference, and I’ve seen it “trending” on social media. I love Jesus, but I… I love Jesus, but I gossip. I love Jesus, but I tell white lies. I love Jesus, but I… (plug in your sinful activity here).
I think the idea behind this is authenticity. As sinful creatures, we will struggle our entire lives, and we want others to know they are not alone. But… that little conjunction “but” carries a different meaning. (Excuse me while I geek out a bit on grammar.)
That conjunction “but” does two things in this context:
First, it tells me that what is coming does not reflect what was just said. Think about that for a minute. “I love Jesus, but I gossip” tells the listener that the speaker acknowledges that gossiping is not a reflection of loving Jesus, but it is, in fact, the opposite.
Second, it tells me that what is coming is MORE IMPORTANT than what was just said. “I love Jesus, but I gossip” means that gossiping has a higher priority than my love for Jesus. Let that sink in. My love for Jesus does not trump my desire to sin. Ouch!
As believers, we must be careful with our words. Instead of “I love Jesus, but I gossip,” we should be saying “I love Jesus, so I strive to stop gossiping.” The end should reflect the beginning. Our lives should reflect our love for Jesus. We can do this and still be authentic in our struggles.
Replace your “I love Jesus, but I…” with “I love Jesus, so I…”
by kelligarms | Jul 7, 2018 | Family, Women's Ministry
Can you believe we are halfway through 2018? How are your goals going? Let’s take a look.
First, this is not about resolutions. A resolution can be, “I want to lose weight this year,” or “I want to make more money.” These statements are vague and not measurable. We are talking about goals.
Goals should be specific, measurable, and have a deadline.
So instead of “I want to lose weight this year,” a goal would be “I will lose 20 pounds this year.” That is specific, you can keep track throughout the year, and there is a deadline.
Tip #1 Re-evaluate
I don’t know about you, but I am in a very different place than I was at the beginning of the year when it comes to my mindset.
- Look at your list of goals and decide if they are goals you really want to pursue.
I’m not talking about a goal that you haven’t hit so you take it off your list. I’m talking about a goal that sounded good at the time, but isn’t something you are actually committed to pursuing.
Maybe at the beginning of the year you wanted to lose 20 lbs., but you are not willing to sacrifice the time it takes to meal plan and work out. You aren’t willing to sacrifice the money it takes to join a gym or buy healthier food. You aren’t willing to sacrifice your tastebuds and really want to keep eating the foods you like. If this is the case, then losing weight is an aspiration but not a goal.
- Maybe you need to modify your goals to be more in line with who you are today.
My goal in my business was to add a certain number of customers. I have since grown through training and personal development, and my new goal is to serve a certain number of people whether or not they become my customers.
Tip #2 Re-commit
Now that you know the goals on your list are goals you actually want to pursue, sit down and figure out what it is going to take to hit those goals.
Work it out on paper.
- What steps do you need to take to make that goal a reality?
In my business, I know the requirements for me to hit my goal are to bring in a minimum of 4 new customers and one new business partner each month. These are the smaller goals within the big goal. I can then break this smaller goal into specific steps.
- Something that might come up at this stage of the game is the deadline.
Don’t ever lower the target, but you may need to evaluate your deadline.
Let’s say you set a goal of losing 50 lbs. by December 31st. You have been working hard to stay on track, and you have lost 10 lbs. so far. Hurray!! You have lost 10 lbs. That’s amazing! But, is it realistic to think that you will be able to lose 40 more in the same amount of time? It is ok to modify the deadline and still be committed to the goal.
Tip #3 Reward
(how do you like that alliteration? My teacher and preacher friends will surely appreciate it!)
We are incentive driven creatures.
Just think back to your school days when you were offered little trinkets as incentives to do fundraisers. As a mom, I beg my kids to just let me buy them the trinket online! But I have found even as an adult, I am motivated by incentives. My company offers trips, bonuses, and free products. Right now, I’m working toward earning an iPad even though I could just go buy one!
- A reward for hitting your goal will keep you motivated even when you don’t feel like moving forward.
Maybe for a weight loss goal you want to go on a beach vacation. For a financial goal you may want to invest in a new computer or a trip. Make sure you choose something you really want so it will keep you focused on the goal.
If you’ll take a little time to implement these three tips, you will find that it can make the difference between hitting your goals sooner instead of putting them off for another year.
by kelligarms | Mar 25, 2018 | Women's Ministry
Can you really do business in a godly way? Today’s society teaches that godliness and business are mutually exclusive. I disagree. If you are a godly person, it should be reflected in your business. This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover or not make money in your business. Here are five tips to have a holy hustle.
Invite God into your business.
I know, this isn’t exactly earth-shattering. And the truth is God will be there whether you “invite” Him in or not. This step is for your benefit, not His. I make a conscious effort to invite Him in so I know He is watching everything I am doing, hearing everything I am saying, and knowing everything I am thinking. It is accountability for me.
This also means that I am continually nurturing my relationship with Him. As I spend time in His Word and get to know Him, I learn to recognize His voice when He nudges or pushes or shoves me in a specific direction. As I get to know His voice, I also learn to recognize the counterfeit voices that hinder my hustle. The enemy trying to stop me from doing what I should, fear telling me I’m not good enough, discouragement from friends and family that causes me to slow down or stop are all counterfeit voices I have learned to recognize because I recognize they are not God’s voice.
Follow through with your commitments.
The Bible tells us that our “yes” should be “yes” and our “no” should be “no” (James 5:12). Our word should be our bond. If you tell a customer you are going to do something or you tell a coworker you are going to look into something, do it! If you said you would do it, do it! Nothing will destroy trust and reputation faster than being someone no one can count on. If there is a chance you won’t be able to follow through with something, don’t commit to doing it.
If you have committed to something, and you have discovered that you can’t follow through, communicate as soon as you can with the people you have disappointed. Don’t wait and expect your commitment to be forgotten. As soon as you know you can’t follow through, communicate.
Lean in to complaints.
Many of us are afraid to follow up with customers because the customer may have a complaint. We think if we don’t open the door for communication the customer won’t think to complain. The truth is this practice will eliminate the opportunity for further business with that customer. But if we take the time to provide excellent customer service, especially when a customer is unhappy, we increase the chances of repeat business. If we will see complaints as an opportunity to serve better, we will be following the most important rule of sales: Selling is Serving.
Don’t make it personal.
If you are going to see a superhero movie with a group of friends, and you invite another friend to join you, you will not be offended when she says she doesn’t like superhero movies and prefers to stay home. Yet when she tells you she doesn’t want to try your product or she tried it and didn’t care for it, you take it personally. You are not your product, and your product isn’t for everyone. Don’t make it personal when someone doesn’t want your product. It is not directed at you as a person.
When you make it personal, you run the risk of damaging the relationship and future business with that person. Not everyone who says “no” the first time is a “no” forever. Don’t burn the bridge so she can’t change her mind at a later time.
Create an atmosphere of community not competition.
When a co-worker or team member hits a goal, meets a quota, or receives a bonus, your response should be one of genuine congratulations. When you reach that milestone, you want that response to be reciprocated, right? Creating an atmosphere of encouragement, building up, and cheering on is what we are commanded to do in Scripture.
Following these five tips has proven to give me more peace about my business and how I run it. When I invite God into my business, follow through with my commitments, lean in to customer complaints, don’t make rejection personal, and create an atmosphere of community, I find that my stress level decreases, my sense of urgency and desperation is tempered, and I’m happier with my business overall.
by kelligarms | Feb 9, 2018 | Women's Ministry
One of the reasons I was afraid of starting a new business was because I already have a ministry at my church, and I was afraid I would damage my “image” in my ministry. What I have found is quite the opposite. Because of the way I have chosen to market my business, I discovered that my business has actually grown my ministry, not hurt it.
What do I mean by the term “ministry”? Ministry can be a full-time, paid position or a volunteer position. It can take place in your church or outside the walls of your church. The fact is every Christian is called to ministry because ministry is love in action. We are called to love God and love others, and when we show that love to others, that is ministry.
Grow your network
I have noticed my ministry growing through my business in the expansion of my network. Most of my business comes from social media. As a result, I have made a conscious effort to grow my social media networks on Facebook and Instagram. What I have found is new “friends” or “followers” are not only seeing my business posts but also seeing my day-to-day posts, which include Bible studies, family activities, sharing of other ministry leader posts, etc. It has made my reach longer.
I am embarrassed to admit that this completely blew my mind! It had never occurred to me to grow my network for the purpose of ministry outreach. I had limited my ministry vision to those with whom I come into direct contact. What an incredible opportunity to touch others with the Gospel!
Icebreaker
If you haven’t heard, I became an affiliate with a luxury hair care product company. It is very natural for me to compliment someone on her hair. This is a natural extension of my business. Several years ago, I was partnered with a different company that marketed purses. I felt very convicted because I could talk to anyone about a purse, but I was too timid to talk to them about Jesus. What I have found is it’s ok to begin the conversation with business as an icebreaker because the conversation doesn’t have to end there. As I develop friendships with people, the conversation could very well lead to an opportunity for me to serve them (i.e. ministry).
I attend a large church with multiple services and many Sunday school classes. There are many women in my church who never cross my path. They may have kids in the nursery while my kids are older. They may attend the 8:00 service while I attend the 9:30 service. However, many women to whom I wouldn’t have an opportunity to minister have approached me because of my business. I have met new people and cultivated new relationships because this business is a good icebreaker.
Mindset shift
I have been doing a lot of business reading for personal development and have come to the conclusion that I am not in the hair business; I am in the people business. Selling is serving. I never ever want to sell something to someone, knowing it will not serve her, just so I can make the sale.
My goal is to solve a pain point. You may be rolling your eyes right now thinking, “It’s just hair, not a pain point.” I get it, but let’s be clear. You know that question that people ask, “If there was one thing about yourself you could change, what would it be?” My answer has always been my hair! In fact, in college I had a crush on a guy who used my hair as an excuse not to date me. Obviously, my reaction was to say, “if that’s your reason, I don’t want you anyway,” but I still internalized that criticism. And if I can solve that pain point for someone else, then my business is a success.
Maybe the pain point is financial: you need to dig yourself out of debt, you want to take the family on a vacation, you need to buy a new car because yours is missing an engine. Presenting you with this business opportunity and showing you how to succeed could solve that pain point. That is ministry. Business is service.
So before you walk away from an opportunity because you are afraid it will negatively impact your ministry, think again. Your business can be a way to reach more people with the Gospel. It can open doors that were otherwise closed to you.
by kelligarms | Mar 17, 2017 | Spiritual Growth, Women's Ministry
I’ve been reluctant to post this blog for several reasons. First, it will not be complete. No matter how long it is or how much I say, it will not be the end of the journey where the proof is in the pudding. Second, there are so many opinions about weight loss and healthy living I’m afraid this will just get lost in the cacophony of ideas. I’m also reluctant because I have not arrived. I am in no way setting myself up as an example to follow because I am still learning to practice what I know is truth when it comes to health and diet.
In the previous blog post, we talked about our bodies being a gift from God, which He formed and knitted together while we were still in the womb. Our response to God’s gift should be one of gratitude and awe. Unfortunately, our response is usually one of criticism and disdain for our bodies. If I can learn to see my body in light of the gift and purpose God has given me, I can change my attitude toward the “imperfections” I see when I look in the mirror.
Although my body is a gift from God, once I become His child, my body no longer belongs to me. Romans 12:1 tells me that I am to present my body as a living sacrifice. First Corinthians 6:19-20 tells me that my body is not mine because it is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and, as a result, I am to glorify God with my body.
When I think about the sacrifices offered to God in the Old Testament, I am reminded that the Israelites were commanded to offer their best. They were to choose a lamb without spot or blemish. It couldn’t be lame. It had to be perfect. The final sacrifice was Jesus Christ. A perfect, spotless, sinless lamb Who took on the sin of the world so I might become a child of God. If these are my examples of sacrifices that are acceptable to God, then I must conclude that offering my body as a living sacrifice cannot be an afterthought. I can’t offer God the leftovers of my body. I must take care of my body in order to make it an acceptable sacrifice.
But if my body isn’t perfect, can I still offer it as a living sacrifice to God? The fact is that God is more concerned about the condition of my heart than the condition of my body. In 1 Samuel 16:7, God tells Samuel to not look on the outward appearance when choosing the next king of Israel because “the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” When I read these words, a breathe a sigh of relief. My body doesn’t have to be perfect.
What I have come to understand is that taking care of my body is actually a heart issue. Food is an addiction like no other. We can be addicted to eating it, and we can be addicted to avoiding it. Either way, unlike an addiction to drugs, alcohol, caffeine, etc., we can’t live without it. We must eat. Food can become a stronghold in my life if I don’t surrender it to God. When Satan tempted Eve, he did it with food, and she gave in to the temptation. When Satan tempted Christ in the wilderness, he also used food as his first temptation and moved on to other things when Christ didn’t surrender to the food. I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve been tempted with food and gave in so Satan didn’t have to move on to the next temptation. I have made it so easy for him!
Galatians 5:16 says, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Eating chocolate is definitely a desire of the flesh for me. The same book, same chapter, goes on to list the fruit of the Spirit in verses 22-23. One of those fruits is self-control. This fruit carries the idea of discipline and perseverance. We are disciplined about things we view as important, but being disciplined about something doesn’t mean it takes over your life or becomes an idol in your life. I am disciplined about brushing my teeth every morning and every night, but it doesn’t control my life. Although diet and exercise can easily become idols in my life, if I’m continually surrendering them to God and presenting my body as a living sacrifice, I believe my efforts will be rewarded with a closer walk with Him.
In Lysa TerKuerst’s book Made to Crave, she talks about tying your happy to Jesus. Your happy can’t be tied to the number on the scale or the size of your jeans. If your happy is tied to Jesus, then it won’t be moved by your circumstances because Jesus never changes.
For a more thorough discussion on this topic, I recommend you read Made to Crave.
