One thing that really jumped out at me as I have been studying the book of Genesis is the difference between how Sarah treated Hagar’s son and how Rachel treated the sons of Bilhah. Culturally speaking, Ishmael was Sarah’s son and Dan and Naphtali were Rachel’s sons (though the Bible clearly specifies who the mothers truly are), yet while Rachel seems to have accepted the boys as her sons, Sarah completely rejected Ishmael.
We find Sarah’s story in Genesis 16 and 21:8-21. Abraham and Sarah had been married for a long time, and they were both getting old, but they had no children. God had promised Abraham that He would make Abraham a great nation, but with each month that passed, Sarah wasn’t pregnant. She eventually hatched the plan to give her servant Hagar to Abraham so Sarah could have a child through Hagar. Even though her plan worked, Sarah was more miserable than before. Genesis 16:4 tells us that, “when [Hagar] saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress [Sarah].” Sarah went so far as to treat pregnant Hagar so harshly that Hagar fled into the wilderness. The angel of the LORD found Hagar, told her she would have a son, and convinced her to go back to Sarah.
Rachel’s story is a little more complicated because she was Jacob’s second wife. We read all of the details in Genesis 29:9-30:24. Jacob was in love with Rachel, and he worked for her father, Laban, for seven years as a condition to marry her. But on their wedding night, Laban switched Rachel out for Leah, her older sister. A week later, Jacob married Rachel with the requirement that he work for Laban another seven years. Before we know it, Leah started having children, but Rachel was barren. After Leah had four sons, Rachel gave her servant Bilhah to Jacob in desperation, so she could have children through Bilhah. Bilhah had two sons, and this seemed to appease Rachel somewhat. There is no indication in the text that Rachel mistreated Bilhah or rejected her sons.
As I read and reread these passages, studying the book of Genesis, I realized that their situations, though similar, were also very different. From the beginning of her marriage, Rachel had watched her sister bear son after son. Jacob and Rachel had no children, but it clearly wasn’t a problem with Jacob. Rachel had to accept early on that she could not have children.
Sarah, on the other hand, was Abraham’s only wife. For their entire marriage, there was always the question: was Abraham sterile or was Sarah barren? Culturally, the blame always fell on the wife, but I imagine Abraham and Sarah had this conversation periodically throughout their marriage. All doubt was removed the second Hagar announced she was pregnant. The couple’s infertility issues lay squarely on Sarah. This could surely cause Sarah to lash out, as she did, not only at Hagar, but also at Abraham. It also explains her bitter laughter when the three visitors tell Abraham that Sarah will have a child after she has already gone through menopause (Genesis 18:9-15).
While this realization broke my heart for Sarah, it was also sobering to recognize this was pain of her own making. While the suffering she faced in infertility was something God would use for His glory, the suffering she experienced by watching Hagar bear Abraham a son was a natural consequence of her lack of faith. God had already promised to make Abraham and Sarah a great nation, but He wasn’t moving fast enough for Sarah. Perhaps she thought she needed to help the plan along. Perhaps she thought God gave her this scheme to use Hagar. Perhaps she thought the promise was only for Abraham, and not for her, too. As a result, she got ahead of God. It is clear that Abraham developed a relationship with Ishmael, Hagar’s son, which probably strained his marriage with Sarah. And we see that she allowed this pain to take root in her heart and turn in to bitterness. How much sweeter would it have been when she gave birth to Isaac if she had simply trusted that God would do what He promised in His time? How much heartache would she have spared herself, Abraham, Hagar, and the nation of Israel if she had believed God is faithful?
While Rachel’s story is not exactly a romantic fairy tale—after all, Leah and Rachel barter for sex with Jacob over some mandrake fruit (Genesis 30:14-16)—Rachel dealt with her insecurities very early on in her marriage, and she was always especially treasured by Jacob to the detriment of his children. I could write an entire post about Leah’s relationship with Jacob. Suffice it to say, though Jacob always chose Rachel, in the end God chose Leah by placing Judah, her son, in the lineage of Christ.
There are several lessons for us in the account of Sarah. Throughout the entire book of Genesis, God repeatedly says “I will.” The fulfillment of God’s promises is wholly and completely dependent on Him, not us. We don’t need to make our own plans, come up with schemes, or kick down doors. That never works in our favor and is often detrimental not only to us, but also to those around us.
You might be asking why the Bible is full of stories of barren women. After all, God promised to make Abraham a great nation, yet he was married to a woman who would give him one son in their old age. Not quite the same as the number of stars in the sky and grains of sand as he was told. When Sarah laughed at the prophecy of the visitors in Genesis 18, they asked a very important question in response: “Is anything too hard for the LORD?” God chose to use barren women, even one who had already gone through menopause and was ninety years old, to demonstrate that no, nothing is too hard for Him. There was no question in anyone’s mind about the birth of Isaac being a miracle. It was why Abraham could “rise early in the morning” eager to obey God when God commanded him to sacrifice Isaac, the promised child of the father of the Israelites.
While the story of Sarah tugs at our heartstrings, especially as women, God teaches these lessons again and again throughout the book of Genesis and beyond. We see it in Isaac’s life, Jacob’s story, and Joseph’s drama (and oh, what a drama it is!). God’s plans will not be thwarted by our interference. He will fulfill His promises because of Who He is. Nothing is too hard for the Lord!
Are you trusting Him in your life, or are you trying to take the lead, hoping He backs you up?
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