I found myself at a crossroads. I had spent a couple of years building a business that had produced tremendous personal growth but hadn’t profited much (mainly because I had invested so much in the personal growth, but I digress). As I felt a nudge to pull back from the business, I didn’t know if it was fear of failure or conviction from the Holy Spirit. It was at this pivotal time when I heard about Malinda Fuller’s book Obedience Over Hustle, and the message cut right through me.
I had two messages competing for my heart. One said,
You are more than just a mom. One day soon your kids are going to leave home, so you should start preparing now to have the life you want when they are gone.
This message was reinforced when my kids would praise me for working hard, and my daughter would claim that she wanted to run her own business when she grows up. This message isn’t bad, and it has felt true and safe for me in this season.
The other message said,
Your kids will be leaving your home soon. You should focus on building memories and experiences that will bring them home again and again after they have their own families. Your business will keep, and God’s timing is perfect.
This message was reinforced when I noticed distance in my marriage and found that I was trying to work while my son played baseball or my daughter cheered at a game. Again, this message isn’t bad, and I found that it was consistently tugging at my heart.
Fuller took me through Scriptures about Eve, Martha, the disciples, Noah, and others that showed me I was choosing hustle because it is easy. It is easy to trust myself. It is easy to check things off my “to do” list. It is easy to follow a process or a plan or a system. It is easy to hustle because the alternative is obedience, and obedience can be hard.
Obedience sometimes means waiting and trusting and monotony and uncertainty. Obedience might mean I have to do something I don’t like, or it could mean I do nothing at all while I wait for God to show me the next step. When things get hard, and I think they aren’t moving fast enough, I default to hustling because I find comfort in the activity. But that isn’t obedience, not because activity is wrong, but because obedience can’t be measured by activity. You and I could be doing the exact same activity, but one of us could be acting in obedience and the other could be acting out of the hustle. I don’t know about you, but I like measurables, which makes obedience hard.
Obedience Over Hustle brought so much clarity to my situation. Through the biblical examples that are discussed in the book, I began to feel peace about my choice. I began to understand that God was calling me to trust Him with my kids AND my business, and I began to open my hands and release the tight grip I was holding, trying to maintain some semblance of control.
I came to realize the choice wasn’t what I thought it was. God wasn’t asking me to choose between my business and my family. He was simply asking me to let go and trust Him. He wasn’t giving me an ultimatum or telling me it is “all or nothing.” He simply wanted me to loosen my grip and put one foot in front of the other while He does the heavy lifting.
This is a book I will read again and again because this conflict is not a “one and done.” The enemy knows my weaknesses, and I know I will need the reminders now and again.
If you have been struggling with your purpose, I encourage you to see what this book can teach you, and I would love to know your thoughts after you read it.
I don’t know who else needs to hear this message but I definitely did and it feels like you are literally writing out what’s been in my heart – what I struggle most with right now and what I needed to hear. I also turn to hustle as a default. It’s so much easier than dealing with my heart. Wow God is so good to bring this truth to me today. Thank you! I’ll be checking out this book for sure.
Thank you for sharing this with me! Yes, God is good to give us what we need just when we need it.