As women, we are often served “fluff.” I don’t know if it is because we tend to make emotional decisions, or if we just think we aren’t smart enough, but when it comes to theology, we seem to stay on the surface. And as I’ve faced difficult seasons in my life, I’ve recognized that shallow Christianity can’t sustain me. Phylicia Masonheimer’s book, Stop Calling Me Beautiful: Finding Soul-Deep Strength in a Skin-Deep World, invites women to dive deeper.
Because we tend to dine on shallow theology, we often feel empty and purposeless. We struggle to find God’s will for our lives, and we are dissatisfied with our lots in life. And we search for our purpose, our tribe, and our worth in all the wrong places.
I first met Phylicia Masonheimer on Instagram and, shortly thereafter, I started listening to her podcast, “Verity.” After binge-listening to season 1, which discusses the chapters in her book, I knew I had to read it. And I am so glad I did!
Chapter 1: Stop Calling Me Beautiful
Phylicia encourages us to recognize our sinfulness and its impact on us and those around us rather than seeking out pithy quotes that sound good but keep us at the shallow end. Once we recognize the problem, we can see how only Christ is the solution.
“Jesus was a theory more than a person. I read my Bible, but it was like I closed it on Him when I got up to go. I could defend Christianity intellectually, rationally, even emotionally, but God wasn’t real to me spiritually…As my eyes were opened to God’s character in the Bible, my entire outlook was transformed.”
Chapter before the First
Do you resonate with this quote? I do. I grew up in a missionary’s home and knew all of the “right” answers, but it wasn’t until adulthood that I took ownership of my faith and pursued a deep relationship with Christ.
Rather than tell you what I think of Phylicia’s book, I’m going to let the book speak for itself by listing some of my favorite quotes from each chapter. Remember that quotes should be read in context, so, if one of these quotes strikes you the wrong way, read the chapter that contains it for clarification before you make a judgement.
Chapter 1: Stop Calling Me Beautiful
“We’ve been sold a message of all comfort and no strength, and because of this, many of us find following Christ joyless, hard, and empty.”
“Self-focus is why so many Christian women are exhausted by the Christian life. Our attention is constantly being turned away from the One who could bring us real change.”
Chapter 2: Hungry for More and Better
“A deeper spiritual life doesn’t happen by accident.”
“Our self-discovery is not God’s goal. We are meant to know God and make Him known.”
Chapter 3: A Tale of Two Women
“He invades the hardest places of our hearts to teach us the truth about abundant life.”
Chapter 4: Why the Instagram Bible Won’t Free You
“The guilt we struggle with when we miss a quiet time might not be so heavy if we didn’t add so much to something that should be so simple.”
“Our time spent with God should be focused on learning more about Him and in doing so, we will learn how to view ourselves.”
“Spiritual depth and maturity never happen by accident. They are always the product of intentional exposure to the heart and Spirit of God.”
“Coffee and Jesus are great. But at the end of the day, all you really need is Jesus. Don’t wait for the coffee—just come to Him.”
Chapter 5: Skirt Length and Bible Translations: Overcoming Legalism
“Legalism is any action added to the gospel in order to please God.”
“We can’t earn peace with God through the law; we choose holiness because we have His peace!”
Chapter 6: The Courage to Trust: Battling Anxiety and Overwhelm
“Rest for our souls is found in choosing trust when trust doesn’t make sense. We can do this not because our circumstances are ideal, but because our God is trustworthy.”
“Every weapon we use against anxiety must start with who He is, because only then do we invite an objective perspective and power into our circumstances.”
Chapter 7: A Time to Weep: Grappling with Grief
“Our grief is known and carried. Our loss is not pointless.”
“Christian grief is all the pain and loss plus the presence of a loving and faithful God.”
Chapter 8: Used Goods: Redeeming a Broken Sexuality
“Our sexuality has kingdom purpose. Naturally, the enemy is after it. We fight back by trusting God’s love and goodness, even in the face of doubt.”
Chapter 9: Known and Wanted: Cultivating a Lasting Community
“Isolation might seem like an easy way to avoid conflict or pain, but it is one of the most foolish decisions we can make.”
“Loving God and others opens us up to a world of hurt—but it also opens us up to a life that matters.”
“We can’t always trust people, but we can always trust Him. He is our confidence and our healing, and He empowers us to have relationships that defy everything we’ve known before.”
Chapter 10: An Audience of One: Conquering Fear of Man
“A spirit of fear results in weakness, fakeness, and confusion. God’s Spirit leads us to a life of strength, kindness, and wisdom.”
“Our minds and hearts can’t be full of fear and love at the same time, because perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).”
Chapter 11: Everything I Ever Did: Overcoming Shame
“When we allow our brokenness and shame to loom larger than Christ’s sacrifice, we’re submitting to an ungodly authority.”
“Your heart does not have the right to tell you who you are; God does.”
Chapter 12: What Difference Would We Make?
“Evangelism is our gift to the world: a testimony of what Jesus has done in our lives.”
“While we should be constantly maturing in faith, God doesn’t tell us to work on ourselves before walking out His call.”
You may be thinking this is “too deep” for you. I would just remind you that your personal relationship with Christ is just that: personal. No one else can develop that relationship for you. It is time to dig deeper, to go beyond the “fluff” and platitudes and discover what it means to know God.
Resources:
- Click here to purchase the book.
- Click here to listen to Phylicia’s podcast “Verity.”
- Click here to visit Phylicia’s blog.
- Click here to find Phylicia on Instagram.
- Click here to listen to Phylicia’s interview with Allie Stuckey.
- Click here to listen to Phylicia’s interview on KindledPodcast.
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