When I was a mom of littles, I knew I needed help, but it was so hard to sift through all of the conflicting advice, and let’s be honest, I thought I could figure it out on my own. As my kids have grown, I’ve come to realize that parenting is a guessing game. We pray about it, and we try things, and we hope something sticks.
In light of Titus 2, I want to share some of the things we did when our kids were younger. I don’t pretend to have it all figured out, but maybe one of these tips will resonate with you.
We were blessed to spend the last decade at a church where our kids sat in the auditorium for Sunday morning service from Kindergarten up. They went to Sunday school before service, so they were able to socialize and get their wiggles out. Scripture tells us to train up our kids, so this was a great way to live out that command, training them to sit still and listen.
Our current church keeps the kids in the sanctuary through the music portion of the worship service before they head to children’s church. Even that is enough time to begin the training process. Take every opportunity to train them to respect God’s house. What does “respecting God’s house” look like to you? How can you communicate it to them?
Tip #1: Keep your kids with you
It is your job to train your kids when you are present, so they should be sitting and worshipping with you by their side. Don’t inadvertently place this responsibility on another parent by allowing your kiddo to sit with his friends. This is a great time to teach your kids that church is not a social club. There is a purpose: to worship God and learn more about Him.
Tip #2: Give your child something simple to do
This is going to depend not only on the age of your child, but also her learning style. If your kiddo is a writer, ask her to listen for something specific to write down, for example, the Scripture references the pastor mentions during the sermon. If your child is an artist, let her draw something inspired by the message. If she is a reader, show her the passage in a Bible and let her read it quietly during the sermon. The goal is to help her listen to the sermon, so using a coloring book or playing with a tablet will be a hindrance. It will not only distract her, but may also distract those around her. Whatever you give her to do, ask her questions after church, and give her a chance to show off what she learned.
Tip #3: Practice at home
Plan activities at home during the week which require your child to sit still and listen. Read to him, tell him stories, do a family devotional time, etc., anything that does not involve a screen. Remember, this is not about entertainment but about extending the attention span and listening to learn. Make this a regular activity at home where you can explain and enforce your expectations. This one practice will make church time go much more smoothly.
Tip #4: Be consistent
Remember that this is training, and training takes time. You don’t lace up your tennis shoes for the first time the day of the race; you spend weeks, even months, training to run that race. The same is true for training your child. If you will be consistent, even when she fights you, it will be short lived. Just remember on those especially hard days that this training is for your child’s benefit. You are not doing this to be mean, but to grow and mature her.
Let me add that a wiggly child or a crying baby causes more stress for the frazzled momma than for anyone else in the room. What we as moms think is loud and disruptive often goes unnoticed by the rest of the congregation. Training your child to behave is not for you or for the congregation. It is for your child.
Our culture lives for entertainment, but the pursuit of godliness requires discipline, effort, and delayed gratification. Don’t believe the lie that kids don’t have the attention span or will think church is boring. Give them the tools they need to develop these necessary skills. They will be better for it.
Great job with the article! I hope it will resonate with parents.
This is great! What would you recommend starting to give them “jobs” to help them listen?
This is going to depend on your child’s age and interests. They could be drawing something that has to do with the message, writing down key words or references, reading the passage, or doing sword drills with the passages mentioned (as long as it doesn’t get out of hand). If he or she likes working with his or her hands, maybe creating a play-doh (or other form of sculpting medium) sculpture that relates to the message. Ultimately the goal is to sit still and listen, so if they can’t do two things at once, they just have to learn to discipline themselves to behave.